How to prepare for winter and Christmas as a single parent

Presents and activities

Don’t put yourself under pressure to buy more than you can afford. The kids won’t remember the presents they get, but they will remember the activities and time spent together doing fun wee things. Simple things can be fun, like decorating the tree, baking, building indoor dens, watching movies with a hot chocolate or playing games.

Children won’t remember glamourous décor or expensive presents, but they do remember time spent together.

If you can, try and think back to when you were little and Christmas was magical. You wouldn’t have even been aware of the money that was spent on it, but you would enjoy and remember the good times shared with others.

Budgeting for presents

Start planning now to get ahead. It might seem silly planning as early as the start of November, but you will look back on Christmas day and thank yourself for being prepared.

It just means that you can relax more on Christmas day and focus on the things that matter the most.

Here are a few ideas to help you budget for presents.

• Set a budget and try and stick to it, so have a look at your finances and decide what you can afford to spend
• When you budget, don’t forget to factor in the extra money you may need for food, fuel, phones, social events and travel during the winter months
• Look out for bargains and discount codes which can be found by  Googling  the  name of  the  gift or the  shop you want to look at, followed by ‘discount code’.  Subscribing to your favourite shops’ email list will notify you of any sales or discounts
• Kidstart  is linked to many shops. They offer discounts to members and donate a small percentage of what you spend either to your kids’ savings account or a charity of your choice
• If you have generous friends or family asking for  gift  suggestions for your kids, you might want to consider gifts that would help you spend less. This could mean things like clothes, cinema tickets, sports equipment, subscriptions or things the kids need for their favourite hobbies

If your children are older

While it is an expensive time of year, Christmas doesn’t have to be extortionate. Even if you have older children who want the latest technology or games, you don’t have to break the bank.

• It could be a good idea to set a present limit or a price limit if they are old enough to talk about this with you. If they have asked for an expensive gift, gently let them know that it won’t be possible this year. Discuss alternative options such as a few smaller presents or some pocket money so that they can save for the gift themself
• It can feel harsh telling children that you can’t buy them something big if it’s what they really want. But remember that children are always growing and changing, and their wants and needs are constantly shifting. What they want this year might be completely different from the next
• If the gift they have asked for is something that they have wanted for a few years in a row, remind them that they can save up with pocket money. If they are old enough, let them know that they can save up for the item through earning some money in a part-time job

Christmas dinner

It’s a really good idea to plan out Christmas dinner in advance so you can budget for it. Here are a few tips and tricks for creating a Christmas dinner plan.

• Create a meal plan and try and stick to the ingredients you need to cut costs. It doesn’t need to be fancy, you could even write it in your phone in your “Notes” app. If you want to have more fun and get creative, you could make a board or put together some sticky notes for the fridge and get the kids involved
• When it comes to actually buying the things you need for Christmas dinner, make a list of ingredients you need and check your kitchen to make sure you aren’t double-buying anything
• Using the ‘scan as you shop’ or ordering food online could help you keep track of your spending and stay within budget
• If it’s too expensive or time consuming to make a traditional Christmas dinner, why not change it to something that suits you and your family?
• If you are having Christmas dinner with a group of people then you could ask others to bring a dish or two each to help distribute the cost and workload
• If you  are struggling to buy food over the holidays you can get help from your local  food bank. You may have to be referred by your local Jobcentre Plus or Citizens Advice Bureau, but you can contact the foodbank directly for more details
• You can access nutritious food for less through the Scottish Food Pantry. Find out more about the Scottish Food Pantry

If your child is old enough to help in the kitchen, you could turn the cooking of Christmas dinner into a family tradition. Put aside an afternoon or evening with the kids to do this together. You could even put on some Christmas music to get everyone in the spirit.

Younger children can do tasks like washing vegetables or seasoning food with supervision. Older children who are able to use a knife could chop veg and meat. If you are planning a desert, it could also be fun to bake this or decorate it together.

Finances

The financial pressures of winter are tricky even without the difficulty of Christmas budgeting. Here are a couple of tips for dealing with finances over the winter and Christmas period.

• We have a free to use budgeting and debt planner
• Find out more about how you can get help with your fuel costs
• Advice and information on reducing your living costs
• Advice about what to do if you are in debt
• Find out if you are getting all the benefits you should be
• Link to our page about the Scottish Welfare Fund, which provides help to those in urgent need of money to pay for food, fuel or essential household items
• The Money Talk Team can help you understand your bills and make sure that you’re not paying too much for gas or electricity. You can also phone them direct on 0800 028 1456
• Find your local Citizens Advice Bureau who can talk you through support options in person or over the phone
• Most housing associations have their own Energy Advisors, but it might be useful to get in touch with Energy Action Scotland
• Money Advice Scotland provide information on all things money and debt related, including fuel costs
• Check with your local council to see if you could be granted help with insulating your home. Find your local council’s website
• Ofgem have a useful page which breaks down energy bills 
• If you are unsure about what benefits you can claim, Turn2Us has a useful benefits calculator which can help you to find out what you are entitled to. You can also contact our Helpline and we can run a credit check for you

We know that in the meantime, you might need more urgent help. Contact OPFS on our Helpline at 0808 801 0323, or use our Webchat between 9:30 and 4pm Monday to Friday.

We have a page which is dedicated to crisis support

Whether you need advice or emotional support we’re here. Our advisors can offer you advice and information as well as carry out a free benefit calculation for you.

Childcare and contact arrangements

If you know in advance that you are going to need to make childcare arrangements over Christmas, try to plan as far in advance as you can.

Try and agree a schedule as part of this planning if your child will be spending time with their other parent over the holidays. Here are a few tips to plan out your childcare and contact arrangements.

• If your child is old enough to express their views, you could encourage them to open up about how they feel and how they would like to spend their holidays
• If you are worried about the safety of your child when they are with their other parent, or that they might not be returned after their visit, we would recommend that you look into specialist advice. We have a page which deals with concerns about your child’s safety during contact
• If you are concerned about your child being kept in another country contact a service like  Reunite International  for advice
• If your childcare costs increase a lot during the holidays you may be entitled to extra working tax or universal credit. Contact  HMRC  report this change for tax credits or, if you get universal credit, report it on your online account
• If you don’t have any childcare, you could meet up with friends and go to the park or a free local spot such as a museum or library together
• It’s important to make time to see other adults over the holidays. Have a day out  or visit each other so that you can have some adult conversation while the kids play

Self-care

Some parents have told us that they feel lonely and miss their children a lot during the time they’re with other family. Sometimes this can mean that they’re not able to relax and enjoy the time to themselves.

This is understandable, especially if this is the first Christmas you’ve been separated.

Check out ‘My Life and Me’, our online single parent wellbeing resource. It has lots of useful tips and support for self-care, including how to cope with feeling anxious or lonely.

• You might want to enjoy the time at home watching a film, relaxing in the bath, or meeting up with friends to distract yourself
• You might want to get dressed up for Christmas, or you might prefer to have a relaxed pyjama day
• You might want to find new people to talk to or spend time with, restart an old hobby, or learn something new. There are websites such as  meetup.com  where you can search for groups in your area with similar interests
• You can also chat online with other parents on our Forum, or use chat rooms such as  Netmums  or  Mumsnet
• If you can’t be with the people you would like to be with this Christmas you might want to have a chat, drink, quiz or some fun with them via video chat

Different people find different things work best for them and their family – you’re the expert of yourself. Most importantly, try to relax and enjoy it.

One Parent Families Scotland Christmas opening hours

The Lone Parent Helpline is closed from 24 December at 4pm.

Our Edinburgh service will be closed from Thursday 19 December 2024, and will reopen as usual Monday 6 January 2025.

We will also be closing our other services for Christmas and re-opening them after the Christmas break in January 2025. The re-opening dates for individual services are to be confirmed, but we will keep our pages updated.

• Free phone 0808 801 0323
• Use our online webchat
• You can email us at advice@opfs.org.uk.
• Ask a Question service
• Single parent forum

If you need immediate help over Christmas

• For an emergency call 999
• For health advice when your GP  and  dentist is closed call  NHS 24 on 111
• For personal crisis support, call the Samaritans  helpline on 116 123
• If you are feeling low or depressed call  Breathing Space  on 0800 83 85 87
• If you are, or have been, affected by domestic abuse, call  the Domestic abuse and forced marriage helpline on  0800 027 1234  or find your nearest Women’s Aid service
• For housing issues, contact  Shelter  on 0808 800 4444 or  webchat