Child arrangements after separation
Last updated: 24/04/2025
When you separate from your partner you both need to agree on how you will continue to care for your children. Find out about your parenting plan.
Related information
Contact Relationships Scotland for info on mediation services
0345 119 2020 Mon – Fri, 9.30am – 4pm
www.relationships-scotland.org.uk
Phone the ParentLine Scotland Helpline
08000 28 22 33 Mon – Fri, 9am – 9pm, Sat – Sun, 9am – noon
Have Your Say
Relationships Scotland have a resource for children and young people – ‘Have Your Say’. It explains how children can have their views heard in family mediation.
Take a look at Have Your Say
Agreeing on contact with children
Who has rights and responsibilities for your children?
Generally, parents who were married or in a civil partnership both have equal legal rights and responsibilities for their children.
If the parents weren’t married or in a civil partnership, the mother automatically has all rights and responsibilities unless the other parent:
- is named on the birth certificate
- has signed a Parental Responsibility agreement registered with the court
- has been granted Parental Responsibilities by the court
In all cases, it’s considered best for children to have contact with both parents, unless there’s a good reason not to.
Making arrangements to see your children
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to contact arrangements. The best plan is the one that works for everyone. The Scottish Government’s Parenting Plan pack can be really helpful—it offers advice and a booklet to help you agree on a plan for your children.
If it’s hard to agree on visitation and care, you might want to try family mediation. A qualified mediator can help you both reach a suitable arrangement, and your children might be able to participate too, depending on their age.
More information on child contact arrangements.
Help for your children
This is likely to be a difficult time for your children. It may be hard for them to understand what is happening and why their parents don’t live together anymore. ParentLine may be able to offer advice on how to explain the separation to your children.
- Find counselling services on the COSCA Register of Counsellors and Psychotherapists.
- Information on how to talk to children about separation.
- The Gingerbread website also has more information on helping your children through your separation.
- It might be worthwhile letting childminders or teachers know that your children may be upset. This will allow them to be prepared and also to look out for any behaviour that may be a cause for concern.
- Your children’s school may be able to refer your children to support services if needed. You could find a private counselling service or your GP can refer you and your child to family counselling services, although there could be a waiting list.