Single Parents Day: Amina Muslim Women’s Resource Centre

Read the blog by Sara McHaffie, single parent and Ending Violence Against Women and Girls Development Officer at Amina Muslim Women’s Resource Centre to mark Single Parents Day (21 March) 2020

21/03/2020

I was delighted when I was invited to write a blog for OPFS to celebrate single parents on Single Parents’ Day. At Amina: The Muslim Women’s Resource Centre (MWRC) we aim to support, empower and celebrate all Muslim, Black and Minority Ethnic women and we couldn’t do that if we didn’t celebrate single mothers.  

I celebrate single parents because I know how hard it is to be a parent in any context, and when everything depends on you alone the impact of any stresses and strains can be felt more keenly. Coping with that adversity and even thriving on it, showing your children love and being a role model for them is quite a task. 

However, I know from my own experience there can be some lovely aspects to being a single mother. If you can tune out the stigmatising comments, you catch yourself and your children enjoying life and reaching the goals you’ve set for yourselves and everything feels worthwhile.  

It’s really important to me that we as a society end the stigma about being a single parent. In my work as a development officer with our Ending Violence Against Women and Girls programme, I see stigma as one of the biggest barriers for women thinking about leaving an abusive relationship.

We know that living in a household where there is coercive control is not healthy for children. We know that nobody should live with abuse. However it can be very hard for someone to let go of the idea that children should be raised in a home with both their mum and their dad. When someone does decide to leave, and establish a single parent household, that stigma can also act as a negative internal voice which can lead someone to remarry quickly instead of taking time to heal.  

"In some countries and cultures it’s unusual for women to support themselves economically and it can be associated with various kinds of stigma and judgement."

Read more

Find out more about Single Parents Day and download our campaign materials.

Read the Single Parents Day blog by 28-year-old single dad Scott.

And see our parent stories section to learn about the experiences of more of the single parents we work with.

Being a single parent has become a bit less unusual in Scotland over the past few decades, but some of the women I work with didn’t expect their lives to turn out this way and have to learn more new skills than the average single parent. Things like setting and sticking to a budget, getting your own bank account, paying utility bills and remembering to take the bin out can be a lot to take in while also readjusting to a new identity.  

At Amina MWRC we try and make this learning process a bit more enjoyable, and we don’t want anyone to feel bad that they need to learn something new. With our Enterprise programme and Strength project, women join together to learn how to support themselves and how to cope with emergencies.

As with any Amina activity, we also learn from one another about different approaches to life’s unexpected events, as we often come from different countries with different ideas and ways of looking at things.  

Another reason why we should celebrate single parents is that, sadly, some mothers become widows while their children are still young. When I coordinated our Refugee Support Project, I met several widows who had moved to not one, but two new countries while still grieving. The women had to develop a sense of themselves as single parents in their new context, all while learning English and learning about the systems we have here in Scotland.

In some countries and cultures it’s unusual for women to support themselves economically and it can be associated with various kinds of stigma and judgement. It often helped women to be able to meet me and see that I was earning enough to support myself and my children and that I was treated with respect by my colleagues, while being a single mother.  

I am grateful for that respect, and for a job that allows me to be independent. I want that for every single parent. That’s why we should all celebrate single parents and show gratitude for every single parent who has made a difference in our lives.  

Donate to support single parent families

We are working to bring about the change we want to see in Scotland:

A future where single parents and their children are valued and treated equally and fairly.

Providing vital support services that enable One Parent Families to achieve their potential.

Helping to create lasting solutions to the poverty which has such a deep impact on the lives of so many One Parent Families.

Visit our donations page
Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.

View Privacy policy

Covering your tracks

You may not want other people to know that you’ve been searching for information or help from OPFS.

When browsing the internet whether on a mobile phone, tablet or computer, you leave a ‘history’ trail of pages and sites you’ve visited.

It’s impossible to completely avoid being tracked online but if you’re worried about someone knowing which sites you’ve been looking at, there are some things you can do to help cover your tracks.

If you’re using a laptop or desktop computer, try keeping another document or website open in a new tab or window while browsing. If someone comes in the room and you don’t want them to see what you’re looking at, you can quickly switch to another window or tab.

Deleting browsing history

You can delete the history of websites you’ve visited, but it’s important to know that if you delete your browsing history, someone else using the same device may notice.

If you share a tablet, mobile phone, laptop or computer with someone, they might notice that passwords or website addresses have disappeared from their history.

Find out how to remove your browsing history and other data from some of the most commonly used browsers:

Browsing in Private mode (incognito)

When browsing ‘incognito’, the internet browser won’t store cookies or record your browsing history on the computer, mobile or tablet.

This option is available on popular web browsers i.e. -

Toolbars

If you use a search toolbar in your web browser, remember that your searched items can be saved as part of your history. Find out how to delete your searched items from the following search engines: