Reply To: LGBTQ+

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Hi H,

It seems to be a common experience that lots of single parents have, with thoughts of how difficult it is to meet someone new. It is complicated enough looking for a new partner, without having to consider how they will fit in with your children, arranging childcare for dates, thinking about safety not just for yourself but also your children. There’s a lot to juggle and think about!

As much as there are additional barriers and extra things to consider, I also think some of this can be a good thing. After having children most parents have a clearer vision of the life they would like to have for themselves and their children and therefore won’t rush into another relationship that does not fit with their future plans because they want the best for their child(ren). There will be some potential partners put off by the fact you have children, but at least you don’t have to waste your time with them as they are not a good fit for you.

In terms of questioning sexuality, that also seems to be fairly common especially for women that have had family and followed the hetro-normative path without pausing to explore their sexuality. For some this might just simply be a rejection of the men following hurt or betrayal and the thought of being with another male feels too scary. But that does not usually account for attraction to the same sex. It sounds like you have a lot of questions and it could be useful for you to chat about about your feelings and attractions and meet new people without feeling any pressure to box yourself into any labels of sexuality.

There are helplines such as LGBT Health & Wellbeing if you would like to chat to someone who will understand;
Helpline 0300 123 2523
Open on Tuesdays & Wednesdays (12-9pm), and Thursdays & Sundays (1-6pm)

LGBT Health and Wellbeing

There are also events such as film festivals, book clubs, social events for LGBT (and questioning) communities across the country. Therefore, you could maybe meet people with similar interests to you that are also open-minded about sexuality without any immediate pressure of dating.

I just seen a wellness festival for LGBT women advertised that sounds interesting but I don’t know much about it –