How do people deal with teenage kids not wanna talk to parent but will to mums m

Viewing 1 reply thread
  • Author
    Posts
    • #12406 Report Abuse
      Dancefeet
      Participant

      Looking for advice or ideas lol my teenage daughter point blank won’t speak to me about stuff but will to my m8s etc attempting to talk to her I get shut down with u dont understand or u no nothing! Frustrates me an irritates me I have 3 other daughters 1 older n 2 younger makes me sound evil sayn I just shout at her 24 7 am frustrated an hurt relationship breakdown with her can anyone help who’s maybe been threw this

    • #14162 Report Abuse
      Marissa
      Keymaster

      Hi Dancefeet,

      Really sorry to see that your post has been here so long unanswered. We are still trying to encourage more single parents to join and use the forum to hopefully make it more supportive and interactive.

      I was wondering how things are now with your teenage daughter?

      I have shared aspects of child development with my own experience with my teenage daughter to make it feel more real and identifiable. Such as that most teenagers will go through a phase of disliking and disagreeing with almost everything their parent(s) say and do and how frustrated I felt with my mum as I went through that as a teenager. I explained that it’s normal to feel that way and it’s usually a phase that passes and then reconnect in a different way. Usually after they have worked out where they are going, their emerging identity and how they want their relationship to be with you as a young adult rather than a child. This article helps describe it better – https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201504/developmental-dislike-parents-during-early-adolescence

      When teenagers are going through this phase it’s important to not make them talk or share their thoughts and feelings if that’s not what they want to do, especially with you. Try to stay calm, reassure them that you are always there for them. Create a safe space for them and if it’s too difficult for your teenager to use you as their safe space sounding board at the moment you could encourage them to speak to another family member or one of your friends that they do feel comfortable talking with. Let them know you are ok with that, you just want the best for them.

      Lots of teenagers will go through a phase of “I’M FINE, LEAVE ME ALONE”. It’s hard but try not to take it too personally as it’s mostly just part of their development and hormones. Some families I have worked with have agreed creative ways to communicate with each other that works for them – with shared goal of mum knowing if their teenager is ok or needs help, and the teenager not feeling like they are being ‘harassed’ and constantly asked how they are. For example, using traffic light colours or emojis within a WhatsApp chat or signs on bedroom door or fridge. This allows the teenager to update parent how they’re doing without mum tip-toeing around trying to ask and worried about angry response. Within this plan there should be agreed signs for when they are struggling and need support or don’t need support. Maybe you could come up with a list of activities that you could do together and choose one at random when they feel like doing something together. This could be anything from going for a walk, watching a TV show together, painting nails or whatever suits the two of you. It can also be helpful for each of you to have a list of relax activities to do solo when you’re finding things difficult. Even if it means putting headphones on to listen to music rather than getting into a shouting match.

      It might also be worth saying that you want to understand and you’re ready to listen when she feels able to explain all the things that’s going on that you don’t understand. Ask her what she wants from you to feel more understood and supported. It’s important if you try this you listen really carefully and don’t react or ask too many questions.

      There is also the possibility that there’s something else going on for your daughter that she does not feel able to share with you yet, she might not even fully understand what this is herself and is just taking this out on you. With permission from your daughter you could speak to her guidance teacher or GP for further support such as counselling if this is something she wants.

Viewing 1 reply thread
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Cookie information is stored in your browser and performs functions such as recognising you when you return to our website and helping our team to understand which sections of the website you find most interesting and useful.

View Privacy policy

Covering your tracks

You may not want other people to know that you’ve been searching for information or help from OPFS.

When browsing the internet whether on a mobile phone, tablet or computer, you leave a ‘history’ trail of pages and sites you’ve visited.

It’s impossible to completely avoid being tracked online but if you’re worried about someone knowing which sites you’ve been looking at, there are some things you can do to help cover your tracks.

If you’re using a laptop or desktop computer, try keeping another document or website open in a new tab or window while browsing. If someone comes in the room and you don’t want them to see what you’re looking at, you can quickly switch to another window or tab.

Deleting browsing history

You can delete the history of websites you’ve visited, but it’s important to know that if you delete your browsing history, someone else using the same device may notice.

If you share a tablet, mobile phone, laptop or computer with someone, they might notice that passwords or website addresses have disappeared from their history.

Find out how to remove your browsing history and other data from some of the most commonly used browsers:

Browsing in Private mode (incognito)

When browsing ‘incognito’, the internet browser won’t store cookies or record your browsing history on the computer, mobile or tablet.

This option is available on popular web browsers i.e. -

Toolbars

If you use a search toolbar in your web browser, remember that your searched items can be saved as part of your history. Find out how to delete your searched items from the following search engines: