[Marissa]

Conversation starter to vent, and share some of the things that are tough about being a single parent for you?

It would also be great to hear any tips on how you have overcome any of these issues and to reply to other posts that you can relate to.

Sometimes it can feel lonely being a single parent but with thousands of single parents in Scotland you are not alone – if we can develop this forum, it could become a great support network to connect single parents and offer each other support.

[Peach]

Seeing your kids constantly being let down by the other parent.
Getting no financial help from the other parent and always having to say no to the children when they ask for treats.
Having to rely on my mum for childcare as there is no other option in the local area (rural area, childcare located in nearest town which is 7 miles away).
Feeling lonely when the kids are in bed. Stuck in a rut of work and housework unless finances are good.

[H]

I can relate to much of what Peach said.

It’s hard that my daughter is now seeing the reasons why I left the marriage and not wanting to go to see her other family because of that. It’s tough when everything lies squarely on my shoulders because her Daddy isn’t reliable but I’m lucky in that he does pay maintenance but I feel that’s because I approached child support services for that to happen. It’s hard that my Mum will offer to help out but moan about it when I do ask. It’s hard that I can’t work because my daughter needs me in holiday times because her Daddy can’t take her for more than he does and because my Mum and my daughter would not cope being together for long periods of time. It’s that I am often alone because I don’t have a partner or friends in the same situation as me.

The beauty of my situation is that my daughter and I have a great relationship and I am truly blessed to have her even if her Daddy doesn’t show his appreciation of her – I do and always will.

I hope you are both okay Marissa and Peach…..

[Peach]

Thanks H. Yeah I’m ok. Going through a tough patch just now but we’ll get through like we always do!

That’s a shame that your mum moans about helping out 😔

[H]

Hi Peach,

My Mum is great the majority of the time which I’m lucky for. She does have a good relationship with my daughter but wasn’t able to cope when I was trying to work in that she’d moan about my daughters foibles. This was all to much for me so I had to give up work and have relied on benefits since. The worst thing about this is that everyone I know works and I don’t. It makes me feel less than but I’m trying to accept that my personal situation means I am unable to work. I am lucky in so many respects though so that’s what I’m focussing on. Thanks for your kindness.

H.

[Kitkat73]

Having a child that point blank refuses to go to school. The last 2-3 years have really played a huge part in his mental health (I’m 100% blaming the pandemic).
He’s recently been diagnosed with ASD and has handled it really well. He isn’t letting him be who he is
I on the other hand went through many emotions to get to where I am now as I was looking for someone or something to blame and I know now no one and nothing is to blame. . .it’s just the way it is as it’s always been there.
Yeah, it’s lonely being a single parent where the absent parent doesn’t give a shit about my child. . Yes! My child as he’s never really been part of my son’s life and we’re so much happier that he’s not in or involved in our lives.
We’ve tried mediation (his ‘dad’ never showed up 🙄), going through family members and again he never turned up. . So we gave up as there’s only so many chances you give a waste of space!

I’d love to get back to work, but it’s just not going to happen anytime soon due to my son refusing to go to school and struggling to even leave the house.
Thanks to a few (well 2 actually) wonderful friends I have I’ve got through it.
Hopefully get out this rut soon 🤞
Oh and perimenopause is just great! NOT!
Just to add to the stresses of life lol but we’ll get there x

[Sue]

Kitkat73, I’m in a similar position with my 14 year old daughter refusing school. She’s ADHD and has social anxiety. I find it hard having to deal with all these things alone and also being the only adult making decisions. Even sometimes deciding what to have for tea can be tough…

My daughter sees her dad every so often but he’s by no means a Father and often makes her anger levels and anxiety worse.

It’s also hard having no time to myself as she doesn’t like spending too long away from me. When all you want to do is destress with your friends but she’s always in contact asking when I’m coming home.

Hugs to all you single parents… we are amazing xxx

[AmyLou1920]

Seeing their other parent’s current partner constantly slag you off and post it all over social media where my children can see it (but thankfully I blocked them off her page)?

[Peach]

Fighting so hard for your children to see the other parent and being made to feel bad when the kids finally realise what a waste of space he is. Father accuses me of denying contact and turning the kids against him when in fact he has done that all by himself with his inconsistent contact and abandoning them to live in another country. Now back in the country and still not making the effort to come and see the kids.
Made even worse by his mother sticking her nose in and claiming that I’m also denying her contact – truth is that I’ve maintained regular video calls and have taken my children 180 miles several times a year to visit her. She doesn’t bother to visit them despite being a short distance away when she visits her daughter.

[Dancefeet]

I find it hard splitting myself to give each child time wi me ive a 13yr old who if gets told no runs away calls sw an causes so much stress to other younger kids n myself yet if she gets what she wants shes brill. My 13 yr old getn tested for eating disorders at the min she blames me for it shes so into social media an so body image focused no matter what I say is wrong shes been this way dince age of 9 is so draining.ive also got a 10yr old who’s so quiet n laid bk an a 5yr old who’s in ur face loving an hyper don’t sleep often I never get me time

[Wildflower]

No support in my case.
I stay in an area where majority of families have men who are high wage earners.
They provide the home, the cars, the hot tub and the personal trainer.
The kids attend around 6 clubs a week each.
The wives don’t need to work and many have been supported by their husbands to set up in business with independent trades.
They have a social life and have 4 holidays abroad per year.
Im muddling along trying to keep my head above water to pay the rent and bills. I receive no finincial support and have not seen violent father to my children in 10 years.
I often wonder where I went wrong.
I’m not jealous of others lives, but nobody wants to give up oor change their lifestyles to include me as a friend. Its the same with their kids. They get it all on a plate. Whilst mine has lack of confidence and hides in her room as she is left out as the other teen girls go shopping, eat out and go to the cinema.
We have been rejected and we feel not good enough. The council says there is no need for single parent support in this area. The council is run by retired offshore evil and gas workers and businessmen , the majority are Tory councillors. The locals MP is Tory.
I want to move away somewhere where we are welcomed and supported, but cannot afford to.

[piratehead]

Meeting people! My kids dad (my ex partner) passed in 2021. I work from home, so have lost all my colleagues. My friends are coupled and doing “couple” things and they have adult kids or no kids. The hardest thing for me is the constant gnaw of loneliness.

[Author]

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