Single Parent FAQs: Shared care of children over the summer holidays – Issue 52

If you share care with your child’s other parent, it’s usually best to start having conversations about your plans as early as possible. Discussing some of this several months in advance can help avoid misunderstandings and give everyone time to organise work, childcare, travel and family commitments.

The Scottish Government has a Parenting Plan that can help you and your child’s other parent work out and write down who will take care of different responsibilities.

You can find more information about the Parenting Plan here. 

Every family is different and you may need to discuss different things, but it can help to agree on:

• Dates and times for handovers, including who will handover the kids
• Holidays or trips away
• Special occasions and family events
• Childcare arrangements during working hours
• How any additional costs for paid childcare or clubs will be managed

Having a clear plan can reduce uncertainty for both parents and children.

It’s generally helpful to discuss travel plans as early as possible, particularly if travel involves overnight stays, long distances or trips abroad.

Sharing information about accommodation, travel dates and contact details can help everyone feel informed and reassured.

If you are unsure about your rights as a parent and how to manage your child going away on holiday with their other parent, give the Lone Parent Helpline a call on 0808 801 0323 and we can chat you through the options available to you.

Disagreements can happen, especially during school holidays when both parents may want extended time with their children. How to deal with these disagreements may differ depending on whether there are legal or formal arrangements in place.

• Where possible, try to focus discussions on what works best for the child
• If it’s difficult to talk to your child’s other parent, it may help to ask a trusted family member or friend to help you communicate and find solutions
• If this isn’t an option for you, family mediation services may also help parents reach agreements without needing formal legal action

If your circumstances are more complex, it might be useful to contact our advice service on 0808 801 0323, email us at advice@opfs.org.uk or chat to us online.

Many children like to be asked for their views about holiday plans, especially as they get older. While parents make the final decisions, listening to children can help them feel included and prepared for changes. However, this may not be possible in every family situation, particularly if there are formal or legal arrangements that need to be followed.

To chat through your own situation, call 0808 801 0323 to speak to an OPFS advisor who will be able to give you some advice and guidance about getting this right for your family.

Children often cope better when arrangements are predictable.

Helpful approaches might include:

• Keeping communication calm and positive
• Giving children advance notice of plans
• Allowing them to take favourite belongings between homes
• Maintaining familiar routines where possible

Consistency and clear, positive communication can help children feel secure during busy holiday periods and means that your time with them can run smoothly, allowing you to enjoy your time together and make lots of memories!

Unexpected changes can be frustrating, particularly if you’ve already arranged time off work, booked childcare or made plans with your children. While it’s not always possible, having a backup plan can help reduce some of the stress if arrangements change or are likely to change at short notice.

If last-minute cancellations or changes happen regularly, it may be helpful to keep a written record of what was agreed and when changes were made. This can help avoid misunderstandings and make it easier to discuss any ongoing issues. Where possible, try to keep communication focused on finding practical solutions that work for your child.

If you need to chat things through to better understand your options, call our Lone Parent Helpline on 0808 801 0323.

Many parents find it helpful to:

• Communicate clearly and respectfully
• Focus on practical solutions
• Keep discussions centred on the child’s needs
• Avoid involving children in disagreements
• Confirm arrangements in writing where appropriate

It’s not always easy, especially if emotions are running high, but even small improvements in communication can make summer holiday arrangements smoother and less stressful for both parents and children.

Every family’s circumstances are different, but children generally benefit from arrangements that are:

• Safe
• Reliable
• Predictable
• Age-appropriate
• Focused on their wellbeing

Children often cope best when they know what to expect and feel that the adults around them are working together to meet their needs. The aim isn’t to create a perfect summer or avoid every challenge, but to help children feel supported, secure, and able to enjoy their holiday.

Many single parents are raising their children without another parent being involved in everyday care and some have no contact at all with their child’s other parent.  This can make the summer holidays particularly challenging, as there may be no one to share childcare responsibilities or give you a break.

If that’s your situation, it may help to:

• Explore local holiday clubs and activity programmes
• Ask trusted friends or family members for occasional support
• Connect with other parents to share ideas and activities
• Speak to your employer about flexible working options if these are available
• Plan activities that fit your budget and schedule

If your child asks about seeing their other parent, try to answer honestly in a way that is appropriate for their age.  Managing expectations can help avoid disappointment, especially if contact is limited, uncertain or doesn’t happen.  Reassure your child that they are loved and supported and focus on making positive plans for the time you will spend together.

Remember that families come in many forms and there is no “right” way to manage the holidays.  What matters most is finding arrangements that work for you and help your child feel safe, supported and cared for.